Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Nothing quite says America like barbecue and beer at 9 in the morning.
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
Seriously... There's something wrong here. I'm drinking vodka to mask the smell of chocolate on my breath before I get home and he finds out. I fucking hate couple dieting...
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
Randomize
