My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
Can I just say I love that you have a kegorator on your wedding registry?
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
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