I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
I'm not trying to go crazy tonight either. I just want to go out, have a few drinks, meet up with my ex-boyfriend and get fingered or something.
I told her she has a very organized vagina; somehow she took offense.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
