Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
who started the 'put a scrunchy' around his balls' game?
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I'm a great relationship counselor. My vagina will let you know if your relationship is gonna work or not.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
Randomize
