I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
you fully convinced the taxi driver that we were in a race
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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