She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
I woke up this morning to 4 booty call texts. So i am trying to find the sign that says i like to sit on cocks so that i can take it off.
trust me, i wonder where that sign is on a daily basis.
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Made out with a chick in front of a girl I'm banging and successfully reDENNISed her within 9 hours
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Idk man there's lots of bad dick but even a bad cookie is still pretty good
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
