Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
I told him his only options were from behind or me on top. I was not about to mess up my $80 blow out before graduation.
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
Can we get pizza? This is seriously not a booty call. I just really want someone to get pizza with me.
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
Randomize
