Just paid for that girls abortion on my dad's black card. I feel like P-Diddy.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
i believe in u and ur pee
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