hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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