So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
Yeah sketchy neighborhood.. Some woman ran by screaming, "i didn't steal anything" as some cops rolled up and arrested her.
Got kicked out of the baseball game with a 4 officer escort. Not bad for a monday night.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Randomize
