I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
On the way out the door to work grabbed the wine glass on the floor left for the ghost of Elijah and chugged it. PASSOVER.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Have you had an orgasm with an n95 mask on yet? It was better than being choked.
Randomize
