Joe is yelling at the trees again.
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Listen, some people have dreams, some people just want to cock slap a kangaroo
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
