He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
Help me help you realize you are a moron
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
