Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
oddly enough my penis is pretty tan. the part of my body that gets the least amount of sunlight is tanner than most of the rest of my body.
I think its part of male evolution. Pretty soon they'll have diamonds on them and taste like chocolate.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
well I have to shit but I'm too hungover to push, and I snorted advil so I wouldn't have to swallow it and throw up.. hungover is an understatement.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I just want somebody to fondle my boobs while I read fanfiction. Is that too much to ask?
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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