Update, blind date is cute and fun.
Scratch that, blind date just threw up.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
He's a waiter, looks 15, and told me he loved me after only talking to me for 30 minutes. I told him I wanted a margarita. We got 3 free pitchers. I may have to make this our regular Wednesday night hangout.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
She's not a foreskin expert like you
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
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