I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
We made it a contest to fuck on everything in your room while you were on vacation.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Randomize
