I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
Remember when we used to go to the bathroom to do drugs together? Now it's to help you with your spanx.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
Got home and told boyfriend what happened. He was like "you made out with a guy you call Balls Deep?" and hi-fived me.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
