do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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