go do what you do best...puke behind churches
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Five Mah tais Laser and i skill have not drunk dial you
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Boats looked like robot pelicans and time was slow and now im on wipe out
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
I'm definitely not at Wal-Mart eating jalapeno poppers with an elevated blood alcohol content
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
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