Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize