His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
Man when i saw they were the only ones hard core grinding to the Cha Cha slide against the wall, I knew they were gonna have sex tonight.
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
I was totally pumped and so was my beard
Is Oprah even human
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
Randomize
