twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
I need to go back to work. I've had so much sex since the shutdown started. last night we tried and a little flag came out saying "nothing is left in here try a week later"
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
Randomize
