Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
The prescription for my birth control just blew away in the wind on my way back from the health center. It's like god wants me to get pregnant
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
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