Found my sandals in your freezer this morning, THANKS
What tipped you off? The sombrero?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize
