How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
Just cropdusted the office
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
I should have questioned it early on when they said bring beer and chocolate syrup
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Randomize
