Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Waking and baking has revolutionized how i brush my teeth. Seriously up to like 25 min everry morn. Highly recommend
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
FYI: telling a guy his dick is more impressive than you remembered it - they don't take it as a compliment.
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
He asked me while we were fishing why the passion was gone when we have sex. It's official...I am the dude in this relationship.
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
Randomize
