It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Just because I also want a blowjob doesn't mean I don't want to just see you too.
Randomize
