ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
