4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
then he said the sex was mediocre and that it was because of me. and that we could try again tomorrow.
it was 100% mediocre because of him, and we will 100% not be trying again tomorrow.
Randomize
