Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
dude im at a party with a bunch of 17 year old gilrs this is awesome
no its not leave
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
