how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
Sorry we're taking so long, this weed cake tastes amazing with Tabasco sauce on it.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Randomize
