i just google imaged poop.
I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
Jacked up my neck and shoulder hanging on for dear life while I rode him like a boss. Plus my house smells like broccoli, bad! How's YOUR morning?
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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