My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Listen. You seriously only live once... there aren't that many cinco de mayos left until someone knocks u up and u have to have a shotgun wedding. Man up.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Randomize
