I'm sorry my penis didn't work
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
Anne I just took two ambiens. I think my body is melting into my blow up bed. Like a stick of butter just slowly melting. And I'm alright. Don't be afraid. I'll be alright.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
Well I mean he still had sex with me after I told him that I play fetch with the kids I take care of, so I'm not really looking too far ahead with him...
hey at least you are getting hit on, i spent all day researching cat sedatives
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
