Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
My mom just asked me if I was gay in front of my gf
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Ice that vagina down, get some coffee, and try not to walk with a limp. It's time to dominate, pull it together
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
