I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
and then you went into taco bell without pants...and surprisingly you weren't the only one there without pants
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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