yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
Just smokin in the creek with some deer, they like the smoke, I know.
I'm at a nursing home getting weed. Lol when times are tough, things tend to get a lil weird
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
did i just pee glitter
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
