it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Just got invited out of group to take shots after hearing her gay friend say "why would I give him my alcohol so you can suck his dick. It's going to be a good night
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
One of the art pieces was basically this chick throwing raw meat at the audience, anyone who got hit (which I did) got a free shot of whiskey. It was worth it.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
Randomize
