I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
thanks 4 putting "im not your boyfriend baby" on my sex playlist. she just got pissed and left.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
Randomize
