Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I could not actually bring myself to utter the phrase "donkey cock" in front of my father. Not possible.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
My new roommate looks like a troll. Or a serial killer. So if I disappear, show this text to the cops.
Randomize
