dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
My dad just told the waiter to keep the pitchers coming until someone passes out.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Safe to say I relapsed into my old chatroulette drunk flashing days.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Dude. Why is there a hamster in my pocket? WHAT THE FUCK WAS IN THAT JOINT
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I got inside last night via doggy door
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize