So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
What is wrong with this kid? He'll take ecstasy but won't take dayquil?
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
4 people stoned, 3 boys I've slept with, 2 I gave chlamydia, and a partridge in a pear treeeeee
How festive
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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