kristin has been a bad kristin
I just woke up covered In blood, I have cuts all over my body, I can't find my clothes from last night, I'm still wasted, i'm pretty sure I have a sprained ankle, and the best part is, I have absolutely no recollection of what led to this. THAT'S why vodka is the greatest drink in the world.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I definitely pole-danced a parking meter outside a party last night. The cheering was appreciated.
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
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