Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
at the resort hottubing with french twins, who brought champange. this should be a postcard.
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I definitely think in addition to buying paint ball guns this summer we should invest in a breathalyzer. That way every drunk night turns into a competition, who can blow over the legal limit more. The loser gets shot while hungover. Shit goes hand in hand if you ask me.
I just watched Matt try to put on a pillowcase thinking it was a t-shirt.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
We’ve got a propane heater on our back porch if you want to come over and eat a McRib in peace
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