Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
thus making me awesome and them whores
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
Hope your thanksgiving is a complete blowjob festival.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
