I cannot find my penis.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
Got to work this morning and thought... Did I really dance on that pole last night
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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