garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
Hi
Babe...You're really smothering me right now
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
There's a stoned dwarf chilling in the basement here. Maybe there are redeemable qualities about this place.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
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