pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
You showed up at 4 a.m with two middle-aged men, a 200 dollar bottle of wine, three bottles of beer, no shoes on, and a half eaten red velvet cake.You are never drinking absinthe again.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
Randomize
