So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
you kept saying 'can i put my penis on the grill?' and it was all i could do to stop you. you're welcome, though
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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