She looked like her face caught fire, and someone put it out with a screwdriver.
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize