hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
I jammed my finger giving him a hand job. Don't ask how, I'm still trying to figure that out.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
You know you went through something intense when you actuallu applaud yourself for not shitting your pants
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Randomize
