oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Lost feeling in my face, my shoe and had a nose bleed. That's not wings. Fuck red bull.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
