I think i peed on brittanys purse
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
I can't get away from Pickles they're either stuck in me, in my mouth, or I'm stuck in one. fuck my whole entire life.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
Randomize
