the guy at the pet shop just had an eye seizure while looking at my chest
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
Randomize
