The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
hooked up with the gay kid & his friend's mom told me "you know he has a identical twin brother whose straight, right?"
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
You were wearing a sequin mini, with Tevas. And you still got laid.
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
