So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
you ate the make a wish sign. Like actually chewed on it. It was our solution to going outside when the cops were there
I just gargled with NyQuil
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm not real sure what dinosaurs sound like, but dude, she made dinosaur noises.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
