you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
He was literally screaming at me for using the same knife to scoop the peanut butter and the jelly.
I don’t know what language he speaks but I know my boobs will translate just fine
I’m looking forward to few days of international relations
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