Come with me and I'll find you a girl. What's your type?
Vagina
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I hate him but I love him for what he does which is me
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
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