one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
My mom and I were trying to explain to my sister what an uncircumcised penis looks like. We had some minor disagreements.
There's a litter of kittens in my bathtub and beer cans everywhere. I want my apartment key back.
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I would say don't do anything I wouldn't do, but we both know I forget about my personal safely when getting laid is on the line
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
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