I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I passed out in the VIP room and she charged me for 17 songs until I woke up, theres a bouncer asking me for $700, fuck tequila
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
This guy on the bus keeps leaning over and sniffing my hair.
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
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