She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
No, that was the night I was sneezing out barf
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
Randomize
