You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
i got your date sluuuuuuut pick up my calls or else hes mine
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
Selling our snow shovel to buy more beer. Not your brightest idea.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
this is an emotional support booty call
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Very mixed signals tonight. He gave me the best handjob while gloating about the Superbowl to his dad on the phone. When he was done he left me on the sofa alone for ten minutes before returning with wet wipes beer and nachos.
Randomize
