on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
He only had napkins in the bathroom... no toilet paper. If I fuck him, am I settling?
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
She has also never texted me first which I think might be a tell-tale sign she wants me to die alone.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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