my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
I wore grinch underwear to my well woman exam this morning and I feel like I adulted successfully today.
Your not drunk until you have to grab on to the grass to keep from falling off the earth.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
MY GUT IS TELLING ME YES AND SO IS MY VAGINA
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
