This show inspires me to have sex in space
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I just remembered I opened the taxi door when I was at a red light last night and puked. And then when I was done I closed the door and told him he may proceed with caution.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I just fucked my ex's ex's ex. Love quadrilateral complete
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
I have a strict rule of what enters my vajay. It's either sparkly, or human. Anything else and I draw the line. Standards.
He is into some weird shit i walked in his room last night he was waving his hard dick around hitting shit yellin cock fight
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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