Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
Yep we found him face down in my sister's bathroom begging for blowjobs without mustard
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
I've done nothing but whore my gay ex bf out for the past 48 hours. It's getting weird.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
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