Well how sick are u. Ive got a good immune system.
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
the back of my hand read, "say no to drugs." my palm read, "say yes to shots." when the fuck did I write that?
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Randomize
