Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
You screamed "There's a potato in my anus" and proceeded to attempt to grind with the bouncer. Also, I'm pretty sure our Chem teacher was in the same bar as us.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Figured out why that fly won't leave. It keeps buzzing through my weed smoke
Fly high, Fly.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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