you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
It will be a surprise...all i can say is stripper clown
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
The cops are here to take me to jail, so I guess I have to go with them. If I'm not out by 6 p.m., there is some left-over lasagna in the fridge for you.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
We found him flat on his back, sobbing, 'fuck you stars' at the sky. No more everclear for Derek.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
Don't be offended, the only thing I'm attracted to right now is snack cakes and chicken wings.
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
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