i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
everyone thought he was too sick to make it, but he showed up. Ten minutes in and he's doing vodka shots with nyquil chasers
trading diseases for a hangover? that's either a really good decision or a really, really bad one. we'll find out if he wakes up tomorrow
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Sexting gets boring after a while. I'm eating a sandwich right now and googling 'sexting ideas' and just copy/pasting lines.
It's a good sandwich though.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
